Diary
by RedEyedGirl100
Summary: Yao finds a little purple book while trying to find some black mail Kiku took of him. This little book says some pretty reviling things *a random idea I got out of no where* rating might go up. ChinaXRussia and JapanXGreece and hints of other pairings
1. Black Mail is fun

Yao slowly opened the door to Kiku's bedroom. The other Asian was away at Heracles's house. Yao managed to get the other out as well. He took a small step forward. "Where is it?" Yao was determined to find it, Kiku's dairy. That dairy wasn't just a dairy it held every piece of black mail the Japanese had. In addition, right now it held a very shameful pitcher of Yao drunk with _very_ little clothing on.

Once the small Chinese man left as if it was safe, he entered to room and started to look. Kiku had a few fakes hidden also. Yao stumbled across a few of them, each time his hope would sore. "I must find it before he gets back. Ivan must never it." He hissed and pulled a dresser door open. A bight purple dairy greeted him. Yao pulled it out and un-locked it. It was what he was looking. But it was pretty damn close. It was actually was real dairy.

Yao smiled and did a small kol kol (thanks to dating Ivan). This little book was going to come in handy if it had anything good in it. Yao ran to his own room and opened the dairy up. The first few pages were useless crap. Until it spoke of Heracles.

_Dear Dairy,_

_I'll be going over to see Heracles-san. Maybe this time I will finally be able to tell him how I feel. He just so handsome and strong. I just want to run my fingers throw those sexy brown locks of hair. Just thinking about him drives me crazy. This must be how Russia feels for Yao after all he did pay me to take pictures of him in the hot spring. Man I could really use a few pictures like that of Heracles-san , he looks so good when he's dripping wet and shirtless. _

Yao blushed as he read. He was going to have to kill Ivan later. The Chinese always knew Kiku had a thing for that guy, but this was creepy. Yao eyed the page wondering if he should read more or not. Finally he brought the book back up to his face.

_Heracles-san and I would look grate together. I bet he is a knock out in bed also. I bet I should burn this later. Nevertheless, I wonder how he feels about me. He seems to be interested but I don't know if he's interested in that kind of way. Oh, what is a guy to do? There is no way I can go to Yao for help. He knows none thing about this kind of thing. He had no idea that Russia even liked him. Poor Russia had to take him and get him drunk before he could even take a hint. I wonder what they did that night. But back to my sexy god of love. How should I tell him that I love him?_

"This is grate." Yao whispered and snipped a few pages. He wanted to get even more dirt.

_Dear Diary,_

_Man I was so close to telling him but my mouth just stopped working._ _He must think I'm a baka now. I don't want to talk about. Nevertheless, I did get to sleep in the same bed as him. It was so smart I just did what Italy did to Germany and pretended to have a bad dream. It worked so well I'll have to thank Italy for the idea. Oh by the way He __**Sleeps**__ in only his boxers. Wow I'm still drooling over that body of it. But listen to this I also said that I was cold and he hugged me! I could have died right then. He's so warm and he smell really good. I'll have to try that next time I go over. Oh if only I wasn't so shy. In other news I found out that Yao slept with Russia. Go Russia it's about time if you ask me, and from what I hear its not just Russia's land that's __**big**__. _

"How did he find out!" Yao blushed at the last comment about his boyfriend. He didn't know if his mind could handle to read any more. However, it was just to good to pass up. Yao went back to reading he wanted to know more. This wasn't for dirt anymore.

_Dear Diary,_

_I feel like I'll never be able to confess my growing passion for Heracles-san_. _So I went to Hong Kong for help. I thought he would help after all he did have a mega huge crush on England. I don't know who he likes know but you mark my words I'm going to find out. But he told me the best thing to do was flirt with him until he took the hint. Sadly, I already tried that but Heracles-san his just too thick. I was more of a flirt then Yao when he gets drunk at the bar. Yao needs to build up a tolerance to that stuff. Maybe I should get Heracles-san drunk. Russia said that sometimes works. Please let it work. I'm going to go find out I'll let you know how it goes._

_It didn't work. He just got into a fight with Turkey and got us both kicked out of the bar. Then once we got back to his place he passed out on the floor. I thought about being seme but to tell the truth I really want be the uke. I want him to do me not the other way around. I bet that its never going to happen. Oh Heracles-san I would tell you in Japanese but you know to much. Why must I be so shy around him and his hotness? Well I have to go I'll write later._

Yao skipped to the last entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_To day will be the day for real this time. He must know how I feel for him. I'm going to tell him no matter what. Even if he never looks at me again he will know that I love him like crazy. I think I love him more the Russia loves Yao. And Russia smells Yao's clothes when he's not around. Yeah I am so going to black mail him for that. But Heracles-san will be told tonight. Who know what it might lead to. Right now I don't care. I must tell him, I need to. Hopefully he'll kiss me right the spot and then our kissing will lead to some fun in his bedroom. Wow I really hope that's how it goes down. But if I don't tell him I will beat my head into a wall. But if I do I must burn you sorry. He must never see this. I will leave you now my true love waits for me._

Yao closed the book and slid it under his arm with a smile. Kiku would be home any moment now. The Chinese man stood waiting at the front door. He couldn't keep him self from laughing. This little purple boor was the best thing to ever happen to him. This was just what he needed to get back every thing Kiku was using as black mail.

Kiku opened the door. It was clear he had only one thing in his mind (must go beat head into wall). Yao greeted him. "So did you tell him about your burning passion for him." Yao smiled as Kiku face fell.

"How did you….."

"I found this in your room. I must say it would be a top seller. Maybe Greece would like to read it." Kiku made a grab for it. He missed.

"Yao give me the book."

"Give me the pictures all of them. Or your sexy god of love will be doing some reading."

"_Fine_ just don't show him that." They made the trade. Yao burned the pictures and went to bed. As for Kiku, well he was writing a new page in his diary about how Russia was going to have to get those photos another time. And how he was going to try to tell Heracles another time.


	2. Cue the evil laugh

The phone rang once then twice before Kiku grabbed it. It was Ivan. "Kiku is that you?" The Russian whispered.

"Yes sorry Russia but Yao black mailed me into giving him the you-know-what back. But don't worry I'm working on getting you some new ones." Kiku said flatly. The little purple book was hidden in a new place now. Kiku smiled Yao would pay for using his dairy against him.

"that's a shame was really looking forward to seeing them. How did he black mail you?"

"He found my book that confessed my feeling for you-know-who." Kiku could hear the Russian muffle a laugh. Ivan got his breathing back to normal.

"Why don't you just tell you-know-who that you want him?" Ivan asked in that innocent voice of his. The Japanese man rubbed his forehead. Something's were easier said then done. No spoke and S. Korea poked his head into the room. Kiku shooed his brother out of the room. "Hey Kiku can I speak to Yao?"

"Sure I don't see why not." After all, he had work to do. Kiku called Yao and handed him the phone. With out another word Kiku crept to the dark aura of his room. He pulled the purple book out from the new hiding spot.

_Dear Diary,_

_I have my revenge on Yao all planed out. It's hard not to laugh. The sad thing is it was some American TV show called Scrubs that gave me this wonderful idea. The janitor didn't like this one guy so he made a whole bunch of cardboard cutouts of him to make it look like he was doing stuff. My idea is a little different. There will be cardboard cutouts but they will have a more arousing purpose. Yao will never see it coming. Please cue the evil laughing. Crap I forgot to get the most important part of my plan. I still need to take the perfect picture to use. Wait I think I hear him getting in the shower right now. It is time my friend. _

Kiku re-hid his diary and grabbed the camera off his desk. A small smile was on his pale face and he crept to the bathroom window. S. Korea had a box under the window for when he did his spying. Kiku hoped that he wouldn't mind if he used it real quick. The Japanese peeked his head into the open window. Yao was under the shower rod with the water going. A white towel was tied around his waist. The Chinese man tilled his head up and ran his finger throw his hair. It was the perfect pin-up. Kiku snapped as many pictures as he could. That pose was to die for. The urge to laugh grew stronger. He finally could not take it any longer. Kiku locked himself in his room and laughed until there were tears rolling down his face. That night he left to go set his plan into motion. S. Korea was easy to bribe into helping out.

_Dear Diary,_

_My plane is going to work out grate. I just can't wait until the world meeting. Yao will never make the mistake of black mailing me ever again. I know Russia is going to love what I have planed but its best to leave him in the dark. He might try to stop me. Right now none thing can stop what I am about to do. None thing at all. My sides hurt from laughing. Oh Yao you are going to just die over this. But on a change of topic you should have saw __Heracles-san today. Wow he looked so hot and sweaty working out. I just want to run my hands over that tan skin of his. Once I confess to him I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to come off as a whore but I want to get laid by him and only him. But you can't start a good relationship up like that. No we need to take it slow. I'll do what Canada did with Prussia when they hooked up. Wait five years then do the nasty. I wonder what color fuzzy handcuffs he would like. I know that Russia like green because green is Yao's favorite color. And Italy likes the rainbow ones that he bought Germany for his birthday. You know what I think Russia should stop telling me about what he dose in bed with Yao. It gives me way to many wicked ideas._

…..

Yao and Kiku walked down one of the hallways for a world meeting. Kiku seemed rather cheerful about something. The Chinese man pushed the thought from his mind. There was none thing wrong with being cheerful. He let out a deep sigh. France ran past them blood was gushing from his nose. Yao stopped as well as Kiku. "I wonder what's wrong with him. Umm America must have finally snapped and broke his nose. Serves France right if you ask me." Yao said to his brother. Kiku's smile got a little wider it became more cat-like.

"Come on Yao we are going to be late." Kiku said and pushed Yao forward.

"What are you talking about Kiku we have plenty of time." Yao told him with his eye brows raised. Kiku seemed on edge. China crossed his arms over his chest and was about to question Kiku, when Ivan hugged him from behind. The tall Russian nuzzled his face into Yao's neck.

"I've been waiting for you. You're late." Ivan smiled as Yao blushed. Kiku gave him a I-told-you-so look. Yao pushed his boyfriend off. He hated when he did this in public.

"Come on its really quiet in the meeting room and that's never a good sign." Ivan said as he pulled Yao in for another hug. They walked in to the meeting room and saw the reason why it was so. Hundreds of cardboard cutouts of almost naked Yaos filled the room. Russia's eyes got wide. Yao covered his mouth with his hand and gave a muffled scream.

Kiku only smiled in victory. A few of the cutouts were missing. "Who did this?" Yao yelled and looked for S. Korea. However, Kiku lifted his hand into the air and laughed. Russia did the smart thing and took a few steps away from the small Asian. Yao balled up his hands and glared at him. "Why?" Was the only thing he said. Ivan used this as a distraction to steal one of the cutouts.

"You black mailed me. You used my feeling for Heracles-san against me!"Kiku said and was surprised when Yao said none thing. Yao mouth was open in a O shape.

"You did this all because I black mailed you, you even black mailed me first." Yao shook his head. Wow he never thought Kiku would get him back this good. He would pay. Yao would have the last laugh. "I'm sorry Kiku. I'll never do it again." He lied and glared at his boyfriend who was trying to steal another cutout.


	3. Bring it on!

Yao invited Ivan over to help him get back at his younger brother. Kiku would pay for what he had done. "I don't think that this is a very good idea." Ivan said as Yao opened the door to the Japanese man's room. Yao hushed him and pulled him into the room. Ivan stood watch, how did he get mixed up in all of this. "What are you going to do?" He asked looking away from the door for only a few seconds.

"You'll see you just wait and see." Yao hissed and had a dark aura around him. He pulled a knife from out of nowhere. He made a small cut in the belt of one of Kiku's kimonos. This certain kimono was going to be warn while his foolish brother went to visit that crush of his. It would not take much for it to un-ravel and revile what was hidden under all that fabric. Yao smiled at his boyfriend.

"Yao don't you think that your being childish."

"What no way!" He laughed. Ivan calling him childish now that's funny. Yao grabbed onto Ivan's arm and pulled him into a kiss. They left the room with out being seen. Yao couldn't wait until Kiku left.

~~~Later that same day~~~

Kiku headed up the many stairs that led to his beloved sexy god of love home. Heracles greeted Kiku half way up the stairs. The blood rushed to the smaller man's face as he saw that Heracles was shirt-less again. "I thought we could go fishing today." The handsome Greek said with a slight smile. His cats loved it when he brought home fresh fish. In addition, he knew a good spot that had some big fish.

"I-I don't see why not." Kiku said looking away. He fallowed at his heals as they walked to the boat a few cats mewed at them. Each step and movement Kiku made only made the rip in the belt bigger and one cat even ran after a thin line of string that hung to the belt.

"Here let me help you up." Heracles hopped onto the small boat first and held his hand for Kiku to take. The Japanese blushed even deeper but took a hold of his hand. They headed over to the spot that was marked with a floating plastic mile jug. Kiku helped Heracles lower the sails. The rip in his belt was growing even closer to its braking point. Heracles handed Kiku a fishing rod and baited it for him.

"How do I work it?" Kiku asked he actually knew perfectly well how to fish. He just wanted an ensue to be closer to that muscular bear chest. Heracles walked over to Kiku and placed his hand over his. He grabbed them firmly.

"You cast it like this. Then slowly reel in and cast again." He moved Kiku's arm to show him how. Kiku blushed even more he was clearly happy that his plan had worded out. When he tried it on his own the hook had gotten caught on the belt. Therefore, when Kiku jerked his arms forward he ripped his whole kimono off and sent it flying into the water. Everything after that seemed to happen in slow motion.

"AHHHHH!" Kiku couldn't hold back the scream. He was standing in only his underwear in fount of the one and only Heracles. The Greek's eyes got wide. His mouth fell open a bit and one thought popped into mind. 'Where did his clothes go?' Heracles ran to the under belly of the boat. Kiku covered his face in pure embarrassment. He knew just who to blame for this. That no good brother of his. Heracles came back with a dirty fish smelling white shirt.

"I know how you are about showing skin. You can put this one until we get back to my place." Kiku took the fishy shirt and pulled it on. He gave the Greek a small thank you. Heracles headed back to his home. The cats weren't to happy about not getting any fish. However, they made up for it by clinging onto Kiku. After all, he smelled like fish. They mewed and purred. Kiku waited sitting on the floor as the love of his life got him clothes. He wanted to scream but he wanted to kill Yao even more. Kiku used his time alone to think of his perfect revenge. A brown cat looked up at him and gave a worried meow. The Greek came back with a change of clothes. He handed them to Kiku.

The Japanese left the room to change. The clothes were too big on him and the pants kept dropping down. He walked out of the room still red in the face. These clothes were so different then what he was use to. "Heracles-san do you have a belt?" Kiku asked holding the pants up. The Greek shook his head.

"I have rope. That'll have to work." He said and grabbed it out of a drawer. He wrapped it around Kiku's waist and tied it on. He gave him a small smile. "See all better." Heracles joked.

~~~Later when Kiku was back at home~~~

Kiku walked into the house praying that Yao was out or something. His luck was not all that good. "Hi there Kiku I hope we had a good time. None thing went wrong I hope." Yao's voice was filled with glee. Kiku glared at him.

"You know every well how it went. I lost my best kimono because of you! You'll pay for this Yao!"

"You lost the whole kimono wow that went better then planed. So I guess this means it's on!" Ivan poked his head out at them. The tall Russian shivered Yao could get pretty scary when he's mad. The two Asian stared each other down. Ivan had a really bad feeling about this. He only could hope that Yao wouldn't try to get him involved.

"**Bring it on!" **They both screamed at each other before walking in different directions.Yao grabbed a hold of his poor un-lucky boyfriend. Kiku slammed the door to his room closed and started to plot even more on his next move. He pulled his diary from its hiding spot.

_Dear Diary,_

_Yao will pay you mark my words he will wish that he was never born. After what he did, he must be punished for I am Kira I mean Kiku. If you must know, he made me lose my whole kimono in front of my Heracles. I had to where a shirt that smelled like England's cooking. How will I be able to tell him how I feel now? The shame is driving me crazy. I can't let Yao get away with this now can I. Russia's photos will have to wait. My revenge is more important right now. I have a feeling that this is going to be so much fun. I can't wait until I put my newest plan into motion. Yao has no idea what I'm capable of doing. I must say I pity Russia he might get caught in the crossfire. My anger won't be spared. If anyone gets in my way they will feel the heat._


	4. Kittychan

The sun was glowing with heat in the sky; there wasn't a single cloud in sight. The heat was unbearable. The Asians had no idea how the Russia could still be wearing that thick coat. The worst part of this warm weather was the fact that the air cooler was broken. It was to hot to even think about getting revenge. Well for Yao it was to hot. Kiku was just playing the heat off. He was only waiting for Yao to get up and go to Ivan's place. Ivan just sat at the table smiling he was also waiting for Yao to do the same thing. Its been awhile since they had time to 'play'. Yao never stood. He and Kiku still had it in them to glare at each other. Tension was heavy in the air. It made the heat even hotter for anyone in the room. The other Asian nations looked at each other before standing up and leaving the room. They didn't really know what was going on but it was better not to get involved.

Even Ivan wanted to stand up and leave. However, he knew better then to leave Yao's side. He will just have to smile and deal with for now. Good thing come to those who wait….right….right!

"Wow the weather here sure is nice." The Russia said in order to ease up the heavy feeling. He smiled as they both glared at him. They didn't know how lucky they were to have such a warm day. Yao finally stood up he couldn't take the heat anymore it was making him sick. He pulled Ivan up onto his feet.

"It's hot why don't we go to your place. And maybe we could well you know some time later tonight." Yao whispered in his ear before giving it a small nip. Ivan got a little pink in the cheeks. But he flipped the Chinese man over his shoulder. Yao quickly started to protest the situation. He hated it when his boyfriend did this to him. Short people hated to be picked up and carried around like a small dog in a purse.

"See you later Japan! I'll be keeping Yao over night so don't worry about him." The Russia yelled as he left the home. A car was all ready waiting for them. Yao screams to be put down soon were silenced by the sound of a car door closing. Kiku waited until the car was long gone before he even stood up. He had to get rid of his nosy brothers and sisters before his evil plan could be done. It took him a moment before he could find them. S. Korea seemed to notice that Yao wasn't there right away but strangely he didn't say anything about it.

"Hey everyone I just had the most wonderful idea. We should all go to the beach." Kiku said with that sweet friendly smile on his face. The voice in his head was screaming with evil laughter. The other nations nodded their heads in agreement. It sounded like the perfect idea on a hot day like this. What they didn't know was that Kiku wouldn't be joining them. Oh no he had work to do here and a diary to write in. Kiku made up some bull crap ensue as to why he would be late. The other nations didn't think much of it and left with out him. Once they were gone Kiku laughed the most evil laugh his body could handle. He walked in beeline to Yao's room. A sharp knife glimmered in the sun light.

The angry Japanese man flung his older brother's closest door open. A light clicked on and showed a marvels shrine to kitty-chan. It the center was one of the rarest kitty-chan dolls ever made. There were only 100 know to have been made maybe less. Yao and (secretly) Kiku just happen to own this creepy cat doll. Kiku smiled and pulled the doll out. He held the knife to the toy's short neck.

For some reason he didn't cut the toy's head off. He just stood there thinking about it. "What should I do with the head?" Kiku asked himself. The idea he liked the most was sticking it onto a stake and putting it some where in the room where it would be seen. Kiku chopped the head clean off. Some of the cotton filling fell to the floor. He dropped the body back onto the shrine. He then thought of another idea for the toy's head. Kiku grabbed some red paint and rope. The Japanese tied the rope around what was left of kitty-chan's neck. Then he dipped the neck into the red pain and tied the head so it fling out at Yao when he opened the door.

Kiku laughed again. He couldn't wait until he heard the sweet sound of Yao's screams. Its to bad that he would have to wait.

~~~in Russia (wow like that wasn't double meaning)~~~

"Hey Yao." Ivan said from his spot at the table. His boyfriend looked up from his plate.

"Yes sweetie." Yao said with a flirtatious smile.

"Did you just get a strange feeling that someone just made a really bad joke?" Yao nodded his head then pushed his plate to the side. The Russian's eyes got wide as his normally formal boyfriend crawled over to him on the table. Yao's shirt was slipping off his shoulder. Blush filled Ivan's cheeks.

"Hey Ivan I really want to be one with Russia **right now**!" Yao grabbed onto Ivan's scarf.

"O-o-okay."

~~~The next day (sorry but I can't write smut)~~~

Yao rode in the back of the car with Ivan. A large red mare was visible on both of their necks. "Last night was wonderful we'll have to do it again real soon."

Ivan said none thing but nodded his head. He dropped Yao off out side his home.

The Chinese man was glad that today was cooler. Now he had to go scoop out his room. He had a really bad feeling. A open the door and didn't see any sign of Kiku or anyone at that. The house was perfectly quiet. This only made the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach worst. He slipped his shoes off and ran to his bedroom. Everything looked in order. Yao sighed. He then opened the door to his closet.

Kiku could hear him open the door he waited for the scream. It took a while but that scream finally came. Yao fell to his knees Kiku had gone to far. He covered his mouth. There was no need to involve his beloved kitty-chan. Kiku opened the door to his brother's room. "Yao I hate that it's come to this. Why don't you give up now? None thing you'll do will be bad enough to stop me!" Kiku told him with a smile creeping its way onto his face. Yao stood up and walked over to him.

The other Asian nation ran to the spot once they heard Yao cussing in Chinese. Yao had slapped Kiku across the face. "I will not give up that easily." Was the only thing he said before closing his door in Kiku's face.

_Dear Diary,_

_Kiku did the unthinkable. What he did was to sick and wrong to be put into words. But don't worry kitty-chan will get its revenge. I'll make sure that Kiku won't think twice about messing with me once I'm throw with him. Oh by the way I finally topped Ivan last night. He isn't a very good uke. But its none thing practice won't be able to fix. I'm pretty proud of my self. I wonder what role Kiku will play if he ever gets the guts to tell what's-his-name his feelings. Please like he's ever going to get laid now that's worth a good laugh. _


	5. OH Crap

Warning the acts of revenge or based on real events and are every childish and stupid. You have been warned. (They have also been dramatized)

Yao pulled the band that held his hair in a ponytail. He wrapped it around the sprayer on the sink. The Russian stood watching there was none thing he could do to stop his boyfriend. All he could do was help. "Yao what is this going to do?"

"When Kiku goes to do the dishes it will spray him right in the face. Isn't that just the smartest thing ever?"

"Umm sure." Ivan mumbled he knew that Yao was just out of any good ideas. He gulped he hoped everything would work out in the end. He didn't want Yao to top again, he was mean. Taiwan then walked into the room, her long flowing pink outfit was on and her hair was done up like she was going out. She grabbed a glass. Both Yao and Ivan's eyes got wide and she was sprayed right in the face. Taiwan let out a high-pitched scream. Yao pointed his finger at Russia when she turned around. Her eyes were blazing with anger.

Taiwan looked back at the sink and pulled off the hair tie. She turned to her brother. "IHAD A DATE TO GO TO!" She yelled and cased them out of the house with a clever.

"Well that didn't work. But don't worry Ivan I have other ideas." Yao smiled and grabbed him by his scarf. He pulled him to the back of the house. The Russian would rather deal with his sister then have any role in this. Oh, what could he do to save himself? Yao was beyond all hope.

Kiku was helping North and South Korea in the garden. He didn't see Yao and Ivan dive into a near by bush. The Japanese felt a quick shiver go down his spine. He stopped working and looked around. Everything was like how it normally is. Taiwan was screaming a little more but Kiku just blamed it on that-time-of-the-month.

Yao grabbed a handful of mud and flung it at Kiku's head. But right when the pile of muck left his hand Kiku bent over. The mud pie smacked right into the side of N. Korea's head. This made S. Korea laugh like an idiot. N. Korea then tossed a even larger handful of mud at his twin. Soon there was a mud throwing war between the two Koreans.

Yao growled and shook his head. He and Ivan army crawled their way back inside. "Yao don't you think that you and Japan should just hug and make up before anyone gets hurt." Ivan pleaded with his angry lover. He placed a small fettered kiss on his cheek.

"What that will mean that I lose. Never I want him to be begging me for mercy."

"Aww why you have me for that!" The Russian tried placing another kiss on Yao. The Chinese man blushed but pushed Ivan off.

"T-t-this is different!" Yao said his brain looking for another idea. He dragged Ivan to the bathroom window. He ordered Ivan to stand there. The Russian did what he was told.

Kiku grabbed his towel and headed for the bathroom. The Koreans had gotten mud all over him in there stupid little fight. He undressed and turned on the water. He had a strange feeling that someone was watching him. It was really freaking him out. Little did he know that Yao was hovering around the toilet waiting for Ivan's signal.

Yao got the signal and flushed the toilet (which was in a different room then the shower). The shower water soon was burning hot. Kiku's screams could be heard all the way to America (who hid in a closet thinking that the scream was a ghost). Kiku ran out off the bathroom as red as a cooked crab. He forgot his towel and Taiwan just happen to be heading to her room at that exact moment. She covered her eyes with her sleeves and screamed "rape" at the top off her lungs. Kiku was then hit over the head with a pan by his other sister.

Yao laughed until his rib cage hurt as he watched as the two girls found out that it was just Kiku. Their faces were priceless. Yao joined his boyfriend at the window.

"Your done right?" The Russian asked with his fingers crossed. Yao smiled and shook his head.

"Oh Ivan I've only started." The Chinese opened his hand to show some of Hong Kong's favorite firecrackers. Yao rigged Kiku's whole room with these babies. They wouldn't do any real damage they would only scare him shitless. Ivan eyes got wide he actually liked this idea.

"I'm saving this little prank for later right now we need to wipe him out."

~~~Later on~~~

Kiku had fallen asleep under the shade of a large cherry blossom tree. A copy Junjō Romantica manga covering his face. Yao and Ivan were able crawl up the tree with out wakening him. Yao smiled as he saw the bees nest that was right above Kiku's head. Ivan handed him the hedge clippers. "Oh Heracles-san umm so good." Kiku mumbled in his sleep. Both Yao and Ivan covered their mouths to keep from laughing. The Chinese starched out trying to reach the nest he was so close. He inched closer and was finally able to cut the nest from the tree.

The bees nest fell next to Kiku and broke right in half. A black cloud of pissed off bees surround poor sleeping Kiku. The Japanese sprang to his feet and started to use his manga as a fly swatter. He started to run trying to get away from the bees. Once he was gone Ivan and Yao started to laugh. Their laughter was short lived as a few bees came after them also. Ivan climbed down the tree and took off after Kiku yelling like a girl. Yao was slower the bees stung him until he fell from the tree branch.

~~~Even later on~~~

Yao sat across from Ivan. The Russian didn't have a single bee sting. Yao and Kiku weren't so lucky. The two Asians stared each other down. "I believe I have you to thank for this." Kiku said as he took a Benadryl.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Oh and did you have a good dream during your little cat nap." Yao smiled and reached for the pills Kiku held them away. The Japanese man's face was glowing bright red. Kiku struggled to think of a come back. When none thing came to mind he stood up.

"I'm going to go to bed." He turned and left the room with a small humph. He opened his door and was welcomed by a loud booming sound. It was like guns going off on the battlefield. He screamed and ducked to the ground and covered his head. The booming lasted for a good 10 minuets. Once they quieted down to small a popping he could hear his brother laughing. Kiku clenched his jaw and slammed his room door closed.

_Sorry no Diary entrees for this chapter _


	6. Theres a snake in my bed

_(Hey, everyone I have a poll to see whom u want to win so please vote)_

_Dear Diary,_

_Yao is losing his grip. His last move was too pitiful for words. Yeah I'll admit the bees nest wasn't to bad. In addition, Hong Kong's firecrackers well that was pretty good to. Now I know what I'm about to do to day is childish but I don't care. Now I'm not going to tell you what it is I'm going to do. However, it will be better then flushing the toilet when he is in the shower. Oh I can't wait until it gets here. Yao will just die when he see it. Please forgive me Heracles-san but my heated passion for you will have to be put on hold. My brother must end up in tears when this ends. I hope he dose cry like a little baby. If he doesn't I'm going to be really disappointed. _

Kiku closed the little purple book and sat there thinking. Yao wasn't home at the moment so he would have to work quickly. The Japanese knew that his brother was scared shit-less by snakes. So with one small phone call to a friend of his, Kiku got his hands on a 12 foot long ball python named Bob. Now he needed to think of where to hide Bob. The snake would be here any moment. Kiku was tingling with excitement. The door bell rang. He ran to the door. A box with air holes was waiting at his feet. In red letters, it said Alive Handle With Care. One corner of the box was dented in and the tape was starting to come undone. So much for the warning. Kiku dragged the box into the house. Who knew that a 12 foot long snake would weigh so much. Bob hissed as she was moved across the floor in the box. Bob was not a happy snake. For one Bob stupid owner gave her a boy's name, two Bob did not travel well. "Dang this is heavy." Kiku mumbled.

'I've lost weight thank you.' Bob thought with a displeased hiss. Who ever open this box was going to be eaten for calling her fat.

He dragged the box into Yao's bedroom. He was glad that no one was home but him someone might stop him. Kiku open the box. The snake recognized him and decided not to eat him. "Hello there Bob long time no see. Hey do you want to play a trick on my brother?" Kiku said to the snake.

"Hisss hiss, hissssss." (I'm not a dog you moron, but I don't see why not) Bob replied. She didn't really care what happen she just wanted out of the box. That and get was good way to relies her bild up anger. Kiku carefully pulled the snake from the box and dragged her to Yao's bed. The snake crawled under the covers. The bed was nice and warm, but smelled like a Russian. 'Dang this Russian needs to lay off the vodka' Bob thought before she fell asleep. Kiku crept out of the room. He didn't want to be in the house when Yao found Bob in his bed. He grabbed the phone and called his crush and asked if he wanted to go see this new movie that as out. Heracles of course agreed. Kiku hung up and giggled.

….

Yao open the door to his home. It dark out and raining in light droplets. It was hard to un-lock the door when in a lip lock with his much taller boyfriend. Finally, the door opened. Ivan un-did the buttons of Yao's shirt. "Bedroom….now….Ivan." Yao panted between heavy kisses. The Russian lifted the Chinese man up into his arm. He un-did his hair from the rubber band. Clothes were scattered every where in the hallway. Ivan flopped him down on the bed only missing Bob by a few inches. Bob moved out of the way, poking her head from under the blanket. She was then face-to-face with a freaked out Asian. Yao blinked his eyes before jumping off the bed screaming.

….

Kiku thought that Yao would have found Bob by now so he opened the door to the house. He didn't even see the clothes on the floor when something grabbed his full attention. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Kill it Ivan, kill it!" Yao screamed. Kiku ran to the room. Africa would kill him if anything happen to Bob. Kiku almost broke down the door trying to open it. His eye twitched as he saw both Yao and Ivan half-naked. Yao was still screaming and pointing at his bed. Ivan smiled at Kiku and waved as if this was an every day type thing.

Bob looked at Kiku then to the screaming Asian. She slithered off the bed and made her way over to Kiku. This only made Yao scream more as he tried to climb up Ivan's arm. The Russian smiled and wrapped his arms around Yao's thin waist. 'That stupid Russian almost dropped the flat chest girl on me.' Bob thought as the Japanese man picked her up. Kiku went and put her back in the box and sent her back to Africa. When he came back, Yao was close to tears. The Russia did his best to calm the smaller man down.

"What the hell? Why was there a….a huge snake in my bed?"

"Why are the two of you half naked?"

"You know exactly why we are."

"Gross. Can't you two do that at his place? And don't play stupid you know exactly why there was a snake in your bed." Kiku growled. Yao shook Ivan off and stomped over to his little brother. Yao placed ear plugs in Kiku's hands. He smiled coldly.

"Trust me you'll be needing these tonight. Isn't that right sweetie." Yao winked and pushed Kiku out of the room. Kiku stood outside the door with his eye twitching. He grumbled as he slammed the door to his room close.

….

_Dear Diary,_

_I hate Yao so much right now. The snake didn't get to him that badly. That and the earplugs did not help at all. Poor Ivan let's just leave it at that, poor, poor Ivan. Last night must have been hell for him. I never thought he would be uke. Oh and the movie I saw with __Heracles-san was so funny. We will have to go see it again. I hope that next time it will be a date. A real date. Bob wasn't to happy about being sent back home. Bob even ate one of Yao's kitty-chan dolls. Luckyly it wasn't one of the rare ones. Yao still won't be happy when he sees that another one is gone. Oh well serves him right. Teehee!_


	7. Chloroform

A few mounts had past since Kiku and Yao's little revenge war started. They kept it up day after day. It was like a wild fire that couldn't be put out. Once again, it was Yao's turn. He had the perfect plan in mind; this plan will be taking it too far. Yao was going to need help to carry out this out. The Russian could not help with this, Ivan would try to stop him. Yao typed the number to a certain perverted masked nation. "Kiku it's rare to get a call from you. Finally want to try a real man out?"

"It's not Kiku. Listen Turkey I need your help with something."

"Yao I'm flattered but I'm not interested in you. Maybe if you were younger and didn't have Russia as your dog." Sadiq smug voice said.

"Shut up. I need your help to get back at Kiku. Met me at noon at my place. And don't call Ivan a dog; he could top your ass anytime." Yao hung up before the masked man could say yes or no or make any kind of comment. The Chinese smiled coldly. Everything would work out in his favor. Poor Kiku would not even know what hit him.

"Now to find the chloroform." Yao mumbled he knew he had a bottle somewhere. He just couldn't remember where he put it. He dug around in the cabinets; he found it right behind a bottle of honey. Yao's plan needed the little knock out in a bottle to work. The smile on his face was pure evil; even the devil himself was scared. But hell would freeze over before Yao changed his mind. He was dead set on going throw with this.

Noon came and a knock came from the door. The Chinese opened and welcomed Sadiq into his home. Yao locked the door behind them. "Please take a seat." Yao said and waved his hand at the table.

"So why did you want my help?" Sadiq asked almost rudely.

"Simple you're the person Greece hates the most." Yao then filled Turkey in on the revenge war. He then told him his plan. Sadiq smiled. He liked the way this Asian's mind worked, it was truly evil.

"Tell me what Greece's feeling for my brother are."

"He has the hots for him big time. Kiku seems to be completely clueless."

"Perfect." Yao folded his hands together. Sadiq was more then willing to help. In fact he was looking forward to it.

….

The next day Kiku was on his way to go see Heracles. Today was the day he would actually tell him his feelings. Kiku gulped there was no backing out now. He was just about to start walking up the many stairs when someone grabbed him from behind. "Turkey what are…" Sadiq quickly covered his mouth and nose with the chloroform soaked rag. It wasn't long until Kiku was out cold. Sadig dragged Kiku's limp body to his place.

….

Heracles waited and waited for Kiku, he started to worry when he never showed up. The Greek was going to confess his love for the small Asian nation. He called Yao up at once. The phone rang in his ear. "Hello….Ivan is that you?"

"No, no it's me. Is Kiku still over there because he never showed up?"

"Oh really that's very strange because he told me he was going to see you. I wonder where he might be. How about I help you look for him. I wouldn't want any thing _bad_ to happen to my little brother." Yao smiled from the other line. Every thing was right on track. He couldn't wait to see that hurt look on his poor brother's face at the end of this. Yao drove there as fast as he could get away with. The Greek was waiting for him at the stairs. He looked even more worried then he did before. Heracles was thinking the worst had happen. Yao put his most worried face on as he helped the Greek look. Once in a while Yao would smile wickedly. He had to wait for Turkey to give him the sign before he could really do anything.

….

Sadiq had Kiku stripped down to his undergarments and his wrists tied to a bedpost. Kiku moaned as he started to wake up. Sadiq gave the sign and crawled onto the bed. He to was undressed he only had a pair of boxers on; they were of the Turkish flag. Kiku was still pretty out of it so he thought that the no longer masked Turkish was the Greek. The two tan skinned men did look a lot a like; they had the same deep green eyes and they both had dry dark brown hair. Sadiq placed a deep kiss on Kiku's slightly parted lips. Kiku who thought it was Greece kissed back with a burning hot heat. "Heracles-san." Kiku moaned into the kiss. Right after he let the name slip, the door flew open.

Heracles stood with his arms limp at his side. His eyes were wide and his mouth fell open. Yao only smiled while hidden from sight. Kiku peeked his eyes open to see why the room got so bright. He gasped when he saw the Greek standing there. Kiku then looked to see who was on top of him. His eyes got wide and a panicked look filled his face. "Heracles-san it's not what it looks like!" Kiku cried. However, his cries fell on deft ear as Heracles ran off. Yao then walked into view. A smile was plastered to his face.

"You Bastard!" Kiku yelled and struggled to free himself. Sadiq got off him and undid the robes. Kiku strange from the bed and grabbed Yao by the collar of his shirt. Yao's smile never left his face even as Kiku held his fist in the air.

"Aren't you going to go after him?" Yao asked, "I thought you loved him."

"I do, I won't forget this." Kiku let go of his brother and ran after Heracles. He found him sitting on the beach with his cats surrounding him. Kiku ran up to him only to get hissed at by the large mass of cats.

"Heracles-san please listen to me. It was **not** what it looked like. I don't know how I got there." Kiku stood away from the large ring of cats. They wouldn't let him get any closer to their master.

"You aspect me to believe that. It sounds like complete bull." Heracles hissed. Kiku had tears rolling down his face.

"I know it dose but it's the truth. Yao must have…. I don't know bribed Turkey into this." Kiku said only to realize how much like a lie this sounded.

"SHUT UP!" The Greek stood and yelled. Before Kiku could say another word, he took off for his sailboat. He sailed off and left Kiku alone on the sandy beach. The Japanese fell to his knees and sobbed into his hands.

….

_Yeah I know this chapter isn't funny and it wasn't met to be. So please don't kill me for having it like this. _

_Ps. The next chapter is the last one so make sure to vote in the poll_


	8. The Ending tear

After Yao's last little trick Kiku moved back out of his older brother's house. No one as seen or heard from him in about three weeks. Feliciano was starting to worry about his friend. So he and his husband Ludwig thought it would be a good idea to go see Kiku. When they got there, Kiku was huddled up on the floor with an empty bottle of sake. It was clear that the small Asian nation was drunk. Ludwig lifted Kiku to his feet. "Come on Japan lets get you into bed." Ludwig said over Kiku's sobs and Feliciano's panicked rambling.

"H-H-Hercules- san." Kiku sobbed as the large German dragged him to bed. The Italian was at their heals.

"Ludwig what's wrong with Japan? He's a mess." The German shrugged his shoulders as he laid Kiku down. The Japanese grabbed his pillow and held it to his face. It wasn't long until poor Kiku was back to sleep. His friend stayed and waited for him to wake. And when he did he when straight for the sake. Kiku saw the Italian out of the corner of his eye. Feliciano then ran to Kiku and hugged him; Kiku for once did not shove him off.

In a heartbeat, Kiku spilled very thing that had happen and when I say everything, I mean everything. After he was done talking, he began to cry like there was no end. Ludwig was never good at the whole comforting thing, he gave the door a welcoming look. "He won't return any of my calls. I don't know what I'm going to do, I love him." Kiku looked up at the Italian waiting for him to say something. Feliciano for once in his life was perfectly quiet. The Italian blinked his eyes a few times the gears in his head were starting to smoke.

"I don't know Japan. What do you think you should do?" A light bulb went off above Kiku's head, he knew perfectly well what he had to do.

….

Ivan couldn't take it any longer. He would top again no matter what. After the world meeting he would ware the pants once again. Yao would not know what hit him until it was to late. The Russian hoped that Yao would make up with his brother. If he didn't Ivan was doomed to a life of being the Chinese man's dog. Ivan was no one's dog. At least that is what he thought. Yao snuck up behind his tall Russian lover. He slowly slipped the scarf off Ivan's neck and made it make a wiping sound. The Russian slowly turned to see his lover smiling wickedly at him. "Bedroom now!"

….

Kiku smiled at Italy. "Thanks Italy-chan." Kiku was pulled into another tight hug.

"I'm glad that you're not sad anymore. Please no more tears. And don't worry me and Ludwig will come back and see you after the next world meeting." Feliciano poked Kiku in the forehead as if to test him. They hung out for a little while longer until Ludwig felt like it was to late. Kiku was glad for the visit but he was also glad to see them go. He would be happy after the next world meeting. Oh so very happy. Feliciano grabbed onto his husband's hand and waved good-bye as the two left the house.

The next world meeting was only a few days away. Kiku smiled he was looking forward to it. Another part of him felt a deep sorrow. The Greek would be there and he knew that he still wouldn't talk to him. It pained Kiku to even think about it. He wondered what he was doing right now.

….

Heracles was holding onto Sadiq by the collar of his shirt. The strong Greek lifted a fist into the air before bringing it down on the masked nation's face. Sadiq was paid pretty well not to let the Greek know how Kiku really ended up in his bed. Blood ran down Turkey's face. He began to fight back. He wasn't just going to let this brat beat the shit out of him. Sadiq punched Heracles in the jaw and in the gut. Some how the Greek pinned Turkey to the ground and just started pounding the dude's face in. Egypt saw the two and pulled Greece off. The whole time Heracles was shouting cuss word and screaming about how he was going to kill Turkey in his sleep for touching Kiku.

….

Kiku sighed. "He's most likely sleeping or cuddling with his cats. I bet he isn't even thinking about me." The Japanese crawled into bed. He didn't even care that it was only around noon, he just wanted to sleep. A nightmare hunted his restless dream. It was impossible to find peace in his own mind.

….

At the world meeting Ivan and Yao were there first. It was strange and quiet. Yao had a feeling that he was being watched. It was slowly driving him crazy and Ivan wasn't much help he was just sitting there smiling. The large wooden doors flew open causing Yao to jump and give a small scream. Kiku was standing in the doorframe a sword in his left hand. An angry, more like a pissed off look was on his face. Ivan back off into a corner. Kiku pulled the sword from its sheet. He pointed it at his brother. The corner of Yao's lips pulled up into a grin. "I see." Yao pulled out a one of those soup spoons things out of nowhere.

Kiku flew at him and took a swing, his brother blocked it. "Just give up Kiku. I've won, Greece wants none thing to do with you." Yao hissed. Kiku made another swing once again his stupid older brother blocked it. The Japanese was pissed off and he was just waiting for his brother to make another smart ass comment. Yao was quiet he was to busy blocking Kiku's attacks to say much of anything. Ivan was getting many angry glares from his boyfriend. It was clear that he wanted/needed the Russian's help. Ivan came up behind Kiku. The small Asian nation kicks backwards like a donkey and hit the Russian's vital regions (I have always wanted to say that). Ivan went to the ground and stayed there. He didn't want to get hit again.

Other nations soon arrived they stood and watched. Soon Alfred was chanting FIGHT repeatedly. Shortly after he started, other nations actually joined in on the ranting. Yao and Kiku didn't even hear them. The Chinese managed to send the sword flying from Kiku's grasp. The sword flew past Arthur's face and cut a few eyebrow hairs clean off. The English man then fainted. Kiku on the other hand didn't let the lost of a weapon stop him. He tackled Yao down just like in American' football only Kiku grabbed a hold of his brother's throat. "You son of a bitch! I can believe you made me lose Heracles-san. You knew that I loved him. Damn it none thing I did was bad enough for you to go that far, bastard." Kiku yelled still gripping Yao's neck. He could feel someone trying to pull him off his brother. Kiku struggled against them, he wasn't done yet. Kiku lifted one fist into the air and was about to bring it down on his brother's face when who-ever was trying to pull him off stopped him. The Japanese was pulled off Yao and Ivan dragged Yao into a hug.

"Let go of me! I'm not done with him yet!"

"I think you are." Kiku froze he knew the voice it was the voice he loved so much. Heracles turned Kiku around and cupped the sides of his face.

"You're really sexy when you're fucking pissed off." Was the only thing the Greek said before planting a deep passionate kiss on Kiku's mouth. Kiku gasped in surprise then wrapped his arms around Greek's neck. The two soon hit the ground with a thump.

"Get a room!" Alfred yelled.

"We are in a room." The Greek yelled back.

….

Kiku and Heracles sat in the hot spring in Kiku's back yard. They were in a lip lock after all they both had a lot of built up sexual frustration. In other words they were looking to get some aka get laid. Heracles had a good hold of Kiku's hips. "Heracles-san I think we should head for the bedroom now." Kiku said his eyes sparkling with lust. He really, really, really needed this. With a singled word the Greek lifted his small lover up into his muscular arms and carried him inside.

….

"I wonder if Kiku remembers that we were going to see him today." Feliciano said to Ludwig were just shrugged his shoulders. The light in the home were dark.

"It looks like he's not here let's go home." The German said he had a pretty good idea on what was actually happening behind those walls. Nevertheless, Italy had different plans seeing that he was clueless in all.

"Don't be silly Ludwig. You have to ring the door bell first." The Italian was just about to do so when a loud man filled their ears.

"_H-h-harder nnnh oh go harder!" _Kiku moaned. Blushed filled the German's face and he reached for the Italian's hand. However, the Italian would not be moved.

"_Ahhh Hera-Heracles-san please ohh more, more!" _Greece's grunts and moans could now also be heard. It took everything Ludwig had to drag the pasta loving Italian away from the spot.

"Ludwig…Ludwig what was Japan doing?"

"From the sound of it, he was doing Greece."

….

_Dear Diary,_

_I only have a few things to say. First is __**I HAVE BEEN LAID**__. Second is wow Heracles-san was even better then what I thought. Third I heard that Yao is back to being Ivan's bitch. That is all for today good-bye. _

_Ps. I kick Yao's ass, so yeah. In his face!_

(Like I said I can't write smut. I got close but still no smut for u)

(Review please, review's make me happy. So review pretty please)


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